Observing the Sexual Chaos

Walking around  the stores here in Milwaukie, Valentines Day enticements are everywhere. I had to buy some chocolate, for myself.

vday5Roses, chocolate covered strawberries, scented bath oils, colorful balloons fill isles for people to buy for their lovers.

Valentines day has become an open day of expressing love loudly, creatively, subtly, or even kinky.

What baffles me is the way the world treats women. In all this merchandising of products to project love in to any relationship, is it truly love???? Or compliance?

Do you respect your lady? Do you cut her down with unkind words? Do you believe she is just for fornication and the wiping your pubes off the sink? For this is what some men think.


It is always been a real struggle for women, world-wide, in our past ‘his-story’ to be treated right.

For over 22,000 years man-kind(? man-unkind) has treated women less than dogs and horses. Women were considered stupid and only for a small purpose; surely not on all societies.

These ideas/thoughts of ‘womans place” have traveled in the DNA of all people for multitudes of generations. This old script was written in to religious texts and in to restrictive laws. Up until now people just played that gender game. One is master and the other is a slave.


A lovely lady was standing behind me in line, and I looked at her. She pointed to the magazines lined up for us to buy; the one she was wanting me to look at had some barely clothed twenty something and an article title of “Hot Sex”….

She wanted to know what I thought about such ‘disrespect’ for women. She then pointed to the only man on the front cover of the display; pointing to out a very well-dressed man in a respectable pose. It really bothered her. Why not him? Why just women?

This lady may have been in her 60’s so she comes from an older generation. (My generation are accepting of such displays)

I was reminded of what a friend’s mother said the free sex young ladies are having today, and she was about the same age as this lady talking to me. She said in so many words that a woman’s sex was the main bargaining chip for a quality marriage. And that was key in their generation, otherwise women were not taken care of, could not work nor really have much. They HAD to marry in their life to eat.

I really had nothing to say to her, just shrugged my shoulders and gave a side smile, hoping I did not seem approving of the young lady on the cover. But I had to admit, she looked great as I glanced again at the magazine cover.

Freeing Up

While on my drive to my hotel room I thought about how we are trying hard to removed these old age gender bias, even with the trans-sexual biases.

Once we had women covered head to toe so men would not oggle* them, right? Nope, men oggled just differently. Now we have women with next to nothing on, even a string, and still men oggle them.

Men will always oggle!

These days with women wearing tights, and revealing shirts, there is not much left to our imaginations. Both extremes really do not fit. Burkas to near-nudes are just a way we judge women to be so much less than men. Just a vagina.


Today, North American young women tend to wear tight short shorts that fit every curve of their posterior. So mens eyes are drawn in right away to their butt, and that is a statement which appears as the young lady made herself an easy target for lust. She is begging for it. That is exactly what many men think. Why? Because we are ogglers! And women know we are. Make them look!

It is men’s nature to want to be with women and not just for sex. It is part of God’s plan of procreation and continuation of the species and also for deep friendships. It is deep in men and in women.

Most of adult lives revolve overtly or covertly around sex. Sex is God’s creation after all. It is a pleasure unlike anything else. When in balance and respectful, the sensations and orgasms can be magnificent.

Marriage is a grand luxury of having a steady sex partner of which one can experiment and adventure, finding the sweet spots and patterned that take sex way out of the ball park. It can be an art form when each mate is working toward a mutual pleasure.

Women are wired for sex too. Something that men of old pretend is not true. Their belittling opinions of the ‘place for women’ had to keep being altered so that it appeared to fit, oh women just put up with sex, they do not enjoy it;  one of those false ideas that women really do not enjoy sex. Sex in certain disrespectful acts are discouraging.

We now see that was so far from the truth. Both men and women crave a bit more sex than they are probably getting in their adult life. People create different venues to encounter more sex partners, just to feel some satisfaction. People are beginning to free up.

In our every changing social world, the day will come when women do not have to dress like whores and men to not need to take sex enhancement pills to be sexy and finding partners for expression. Right now the tightly clad nearly naked lady and/or the four hour boner man are showing us our sexual issues are way out of balance.

Getting Needs Met

With over 20,000 years of women holding a low position, the world of gay men got very skewed, grew, and many men began having sex with men. Not really a natural balance, yet in times of need, that is what happens. vday8

Today most men in power are men lovers. It is the unbalanced use of power, instead of you scratch my back, well…. Ok.

This has been “breed in to humanity for over 22,000 years. It is part of our unhealthy DNA.

The feminist movement of the early last century pushed many women in to places of power, and higher paying jobs, but it also polarized men against women and visa versa. This extreme feminine view is just the outcropping of those years of suppression. The more a woman has been disrespected the more right-wing fem bot she can become. Taller high heals, slits up to the bush, or crew cut hair and men’s clothing, both are rebellions of sorts.

Many women have sex with women due to male abuses, and also, to get their needs met. When I asked some women dating women “why” that is what they tell me. They were raped and treated like trash. They find sexual comfort in other women. Some women hate man to a scary degree and some men really hate women, goes without saying really.

And what about those cross gender people, men in a womans body and women in a mens body, and the bi ones that do not care and enjoys sex with all. Now they are all over the news demanding their respect as well.

All people, young and old need respect. It is something that would create a more peaceful world.

Yet respect does not mean we have to flaunt our sex preference in the faces of others.This is just the rebellion going on.

Please…. enough showing me your butt. I am not going to sniff, OK!

Reel it in and find a calm place to be sexy and a full person.You are not a “product” on a shelf for people to use. You are a fully unique sexual human being.

Pushing your agenda is so awful. For me is says “I disrespect myself.” 


When one gender is out of balance, so is the other gender. As men moved in power places through the suppression of women, they lost tons.

They lost their grounded sense of being an earthling. They pillage the earth for profits forgetting any sense of conservation.Oh I could say more here, but that is not my point. My point is that people need respect.

Without the balance and respect for that feminine essence that is inside every male soul on earth, men act like 2 year olds grabbing what is mine, mine, mine. This also hold true for rapists.

Without respect for men, women deny their own inner male essence. Women out of balance tend to roll over and show their vagina, just for attention. They show it for power grabs, use it for manipulation, and marry for the ‘other’ reasons.

So it is this chaos of gender issues we swim in today. It is working some issues out through a wide display of acting out.

I wonder often about how this will ever resolve. It is too strange for me  that both men and women to be so accepting of a “womans place”.

Womengive birthto every generation! They nurture and provide in so many ways. Life would not continue if it was not for these goddesses. Yet this male imbalance is all around us by women not even getting health care like men. Vaginas are rarely insured.

There was a time when women ruled with iron fists and men were subjects. This imbalance fed in to the present imbalance.


The extremes are just how the pendulum flows. One day when the fulcrum find a more centered swing, we will find women and men enjoying sex more often and without all the angst and drama.

We will find that respect is the cause of such new balance. It is then that we truly change the world for we will recode our DNA with this new patterns of satisfaction for our future crops, the outcome of some sex! Yes, our kids.

This article is not advocating that same sex is wrong, or that any sex is wrong.

What I am saying here is no one feels they are loved enough.

Most people feel they are not getting their sexual needs met.


Thinking that having sex means love is out of balance. Having sex is having sex.

It is like eating a meal is eating a meal.

Both have a start and finish time.

Love goes on regardless.

Love is respect. Respect of self and of all others. Love is being in awe of the qualities each person holds, in their unique expressions.

This Valentines day, instead of the merchandising angle, just try respect, Create open dialogs as equals, no matter who it is. Say out loud you love someone, and everyone. Be much more free and honest. Tell those you love, that you love them so often they can do nothing more than return silly smiles!

Lets steady this akward swing to the extremes to the more centered, satisfying, and wholesome way of expressing our love, and yes, our sexuality. Have great Valentines sex, people!

Happy Valentines Day!

~ with respect Rus

*Look, admire and have sexual thoughts


One thought on “Observing the Sexual Chaos

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